Speaking of Assasination

I've been very busy at my pitas blog. There's a link at this site if you want to go there.
It's seems a little sexist to me that we talk of the possibility of Obama being killed but not of Hillary. Just look at all the hate and venom being spewed at her. Reminds me of Bush attacking Iraq when Al Qaida was in the mountains of Afghanistan.

But we associate assasinations with men. At least those assasinated are men, the Kennedys, Martin Luther King, Jr. and of course Jesus whose death say Christians redeemed the damned souls of mankind.

Joan of Arc, well no big thing. It was the Catholic Church that killed St. Joan. Burned her at the stake. The Catholic Church which she loved. Isn't that the damnable thing!!!

I said at Pitas and at TM doesn't anyone think with all this venom about get out, get out some madman - or woman, could get it into their head to get her out by violence?

I guess they will wait until it happens to be convinced it can.

Have you got a Reality Check for a Hippie?

I am paralyzed by my lack of work and work experience. I also have no
Bachelor's of the Arts degree.
I lived off of my parents earnings. My father died, thank God, in 1992 and my mom graduated from this world in 2007.
Mom left me the home built in 1970.
So, I've been thinking of a home equity loan. Doesn't sound so cool as that Reality Check they had a while back, and I'm sorry we never got to take advantage of that. I guess mom was concerned about interest and paying it back.
Student loans are great. The Stafford Loan I got when I went to school to study information technology had a low interest and I was surprised at how many years I would have been allowed to spread the payments. Unfortunately, I lived in a kind of dream world with my mom. If Billy had been here like he was before he married or if a woman had been able to tolerate my moods, the low ones in particular, maybe I would have spread that loan out over many years. I just didn't think about money.
Now, I'm afraid.
I don't know what right they have to deprive me of work. They say it's the economy and my lack of work experience. Funny the one job I had the supervisor called it a dead end job. I thought it was kind of nice but there was no promotions and no raises in pay since it was connected to financial aid. It wasn't really a dead end job but I think people should be protected who are in those dead end job situations. Still I would like a well paying job, with benefits and retirement.
Maybe my interest in Siddha Yoga turned one employer off. He was looking out for employees who take a job and then decide to go back to school. I wanted to be a swami once. I wonder if that was what made him say no to giving me the job.
So, to get back to my point. I was talking with my sister-in-law who works in a credit union giving car loans. She said I couldn't get a home equity loan without a job.
That seems queer to me first of all because I checked it out on the web and it said I could get a home equity loan. I was totally honest with the online form indicating that I was not employed. I have gotten my fair share of credit cards without employment, too, though there have been some who would not give me a card because I do not work.
That was the situation at Prosper.com. I had a large credit card debt and I was waiting for the court to dissolve a trust and give me what my mother intended that I have. Prosper wouldn't give me a loan. Some who contacted me by e-mail asked how did I expect to pay the loan back if I didn't have a job.
I didn't notice any finance charges on my credit card. I was worried about the APR.
There had been one charge of some size but I kept a lookout for more. I couldn't get much information from the credit card company, at that time, Fleet Credit, which was associated with the Working Assets credit card.
So, I don't trust Prosper anymore.
I'm concerned about when I have to pay back.
I want to sell my house but I would like to make some improvements, maybe move out before I do. There is a lot of sentimental value but I'm between a rock and a hard place now.

My brother, my brother, my brother.

As I grew up I had 2 older brothers. One was 13 years older and the other 9.
Both of them were called Connolly. My name is Bryan.
The THING was that mom wasn't married when she had my brother so she used the name from her first marriage. She was divorced and my father had some problem with getting his own divorce and marrying mom.
I had to learn this from papers I found after my mother died.
My brother is not for Hillary. The older brother, who is still called Connolly, does not vote and has no position. He was a child from my mother's first marriage to an Irish Catholic cab driver.
I have lots of southern cousins named Bryan. Whether John changing his name to Bryan had anything to do with my knowing them I really don't know. I like them, or dislike them for what they are.
I gave John some things when he came. I gave him my father's guns. I offered him a picture and then he also took another. He wanted this picture of our father's mother and father which the family had gotten colorized. That was okay and then I showed him a picture of our mother's mother and he wanted that. But I showed him a picture of mom's father and he didn't want that.
Now I'm a little irritated that he took the picture of our grandmother. It was a classic photo that grandma had posed for. It was a portrait photo. It had been here for all the years I had been here with mom and I feel maybe I shouldn't have let go of it.
He made a big deal over one of the guns. Like that was his gun. It was a single barrel shotgun they call a 410. It has something to do with the gauge of the barrel.
I wonder how often Mr. Bryan went hunting with his little Connolly son. Was it just like when I went hunting with him?
And did he bring his Connolly son to Florida just like he brought me?
I hear some stories about Florida but I think I'm being lied to.

Veterans Benefits - 1977

They are fighting over education for our veterans.
I have nothing against education for them but you know I resent some of the privelege veterans get like 10 points on civil service exams.
I am not a veteran.
I also fear gay discrimination. I have slept with a man from time to time and sometimes I give up on a job because I think, well, I am gay, I won't be given that job.
As much as I might actually be bisexual, it doesn't matter.
You might say it's my glass is half empty point of view but there is a lot of media out there and a lot of fear. I prefer the word fear to paranoia because I don't think the fear is unfounded. Paranoia is unfounded fear.
It was exactly this combination of factors that kept me from getting a job in the post office back in 1977.
That was when Anita Bryant was so big. I was a Bowie guy and my elder cousin heard of a job available at the post office in University City. I took the exam and worried that a vet would beat my score but to my surprise I was called. I don't recall if it was a call for an interview or an introduction to the job, but I was having a lot of gay fantasies then and I just quit on it. I never went to the meeting, whatever it was.
What a year 1977 was. Elvis died and so did Bing Crosby. Groucho Marx died in '78.
I learned later that Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada also died in 1977 but that's no big deal.

Boy, I sure like Hillary.

I was with my brother today. He came down from N.C. and woke me up at 4 in the afternoon.
I came home after he went anti-nomination on me at my step-brother's house. There was no fight I just didn't have the "superior" argument, you know like christians who say they are saved by the death of Lord Jesus do.
So, I came home and I found at Taylor's some folks were negative about Kennedy's seizure. She closed the comments down on that particular post.
I am not sure if I said anything negative because I had checked to see if anything bad had happened to Kennedy before I posted. One fellow did say he thought it was God's vengeance for his support of Obama. He wasn't serious I know but still I don't agree with this particular point that wealth or wellness have anything to do with God's grace.
Although I have just bought a picture of Mahalakshmi who is the Goddess of Wealth in Hinduism and I have chanted her hymn Shri Mahalakshyastakam Stotram. I have been warned that she bestows spiritual wealth. On the other hand another hymn I chant, Shri Guru Gita says it bestows not only spiritual liberation but worldly fulfillment as well.
Still, I have read a book called THE URANTIA BOOK and it took issue with this very thing. I don't know if it were an Archangel's paper or a Midwayer's but it said exactly what I just said that these outward shows of prosperity and wealth have nothing to do with a person't disposition toward God.
I get a little upset that my own reading gets such little attention. Nobody makes movies of books I've read and there are no television shows exploring the statements of the books I've read except to damn them in certain instances.
In this respect I haven't seen Sen. Kennedy do anything to stop deprogramming for instance, or to creat financial aid for those who would want to follow these Spiritual Paths.
There was a Senator who had a stroke just before my mother had one. What has become of him. Nobody cares about him because he is not a president's brother. Geraldine Ferraro has a serious disease nobody spoke about when her name came up in the press over her comments and President Clinton had a heart attack in 2004 that abbreviated his involvement in the 2004 presidential campaign.
Do you hear the way RFK, Jr. speaks? I know his son has asthma but I am not sure I know what's wrong with him. Has he switched his commitment to Hillary? A news reporter said George McGovern had once supported Hillary and switched. I wonder about RFK, Jr. who has a video over at HillaryClinton.com supporting Hillary.
He must live in California and when that race was over so was his involvement.
He has environmental concerns and it was good to see that he was on our side.
He and the son of Caesar Chavez.
I'll have to think about them when Tom Hanks comes on again.

The White Knight syndrome

Remember the white knight?
Avoiding the white knight syndrome more and more politicians became policy oriented. Now you have someone like Hillary Clinton being called a wonk because she know so much about policy.
No more white knight we said and our politicians listened to that.
Now isn't it exactly the white knight that has happened with Obama at least before Rev. Wright?
Why is the white knight back?

New Vrindaban in West Virginia

All this talk about West Virginia has me wanting to visit Prabhupada's Palace of Gold which is in West Virginia.
I visited the web site. They have tours that appear to be quite inexpensive.
Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare.

Democrat No More!

I filled out the form to switch from Democrat to no party affiliation tonight and put it out in the mail box.
Soon I will no longer be a Democrat.

I'm very angry.

I'm very angry.

I don't have a job but I own a house.

I don't have any more money either.

I have diabetes and high blood pressure and high cholesterol that makes me pay for prescription that run, I guess about $140 a month. Just because I get some at Wal-Mart that give me generics for $4 a bottle. I get 3 generics.

But one for my cholesterol costs $120 a month I think. It's called Niaspan and it's recommended by a little group with Public Citizen called WorstPills.org.

WorstPills.org has created a list of pills that although OK with the FDA they believe are still dangerous for you to take.

When I mention WorstPills.org to a doctor or a Health Clinic I get mocked and made fun of but they do give in. Unfortunately it looks like the Niaspan is not doing such a great job of controlling my cholesterol.

My diabetes had gotten so bad that someone asked me if I had wanted to take insulin. You know, give myself a little shot in the stomach. I got this in the hospital once and it isn't pleasant in any way. I have seen talk that some people prefer this way to control their blood sugar levels. It's not for me.

I got lucky. Maybe it was the angry way in which I took talk of insulin but I stopped my big eating and got back to the diabetic diet that requires you to eat just a little every couple of hours and check you blood sugars with a glucometer. It means sticking your finger with a little pen but it doesn't hurt terribly.

I started losing weight as soon as I skipped a couple of meals that day. I took a long drive and didn't eat. Eventually I changed my gym which was a real big one in Gainesville, FL. I went to a smaller one and they gave me a class that even further reduced my weight. So things are looking good in the health land but I still have no job.

I have been thinking of getting a home equity loan and looking into it seems like people get these loans for a variety of reasons. I thought I would fix up my home to where I could get a good price for it but I'm afraid because of the market for homes. I understand they aren't selling and I see a lot of homes right by me that aren't selling.

I am warned that I could lose my home if perhaps I never got a job and I never sold the house and they foreclosed. I guess that's the term for it.

So, I'm just worried, worried, worried all day long and now I'm even more worried that they are actually going to nominate Barack Obama to be the next POTUS.

I don't know. I watched a video last night by my Guru Gurumayi called TRUST. Trust is transcendent she said. I don't know. I don't know who to trust right now.

I can't even get up in the daytime. I spend all my time up at nights. And it's not like I live in Las Vegas, everything here closes at night. Drug stores, some supermarkets (actually just one) are open all night.

Just felt like venting a little bit because I was feeling so hateful. It seems like the black members of the Democratic Party are going to give us Barack Obama come hell or high water and I was feeling a little angry at them.

I went to a desegregated high school and a nice black family moved in some years ago to this neighborhood which had never had a minority family, except once a Korean family, live here. They came to my mother's wake and have been very kind.

But boy, Donna Brazile can put me over the edge. Doesn't that woman give a damn about her health? Look at how fat she has gotten!!! She's gotta have diabetes or something. That happened to me. I got immense and when I went to a doctor to see about weight loss they found I had developed diabetesII.

Remember Ted Kennedy how immense he was? People made fun. That's Miss Brazile. Why the hell do they want her up there? Have they loss their sense of the cosmetic all of a sudden? They had better get rid of all that technoglitter if they have.

And boy is she black? Does she use make up to darken a little? I mean do they have make up that does that? Because you talk about being BLACK!!!

That was part of my anger tonight. I remembered how a lot of black kids didn't like white kids, even hippie whites. Very militant! Very BLACK! The words were synonomous.

Well, I thought I would just put that out there since it's an open thread.

There was that little bit about sex and Hillary Clinton that the guy from Countdown, Wolf, had written about. All I can say is she's not unattractive and Chelsea certainly looks good.

Isn't it chauvinistic to see women in that way?

And if you want to talk about a politician in bed I bet a lot of nasty thing could be said about Rap Sister Michelle Obama and the Bro.