O holy man, Mr. Goldberg.
Doesn't sound right. Maybe that's me.
Your name is corrupted with Sgt. Bilko,
Phil Silvers played him.
I wonder if I could use a Sgt. Bilko now,
a con man who could pull strings, a scheister.
I would be caught up with, but don't those
con artist do some good sometimes, like Maverick.
You see I'm all old tv shows now.
I don't want strings pulled for me. I know
I share the guilt for whateve laws the con
man breaks if I benefit from them.
All those masters in Surat Shabd keep
dying. Is that why you brought the subject
up in class, instructor?
Death, our fear of it.
Kirpal had died while still alive.
I am reminded in recent reading that
when we die we lose loved ones. Mom
said in a contemplation her church buddies
had her write, that I would be what she would
miss should she die right then.
I wonder how you are, good teacher friend. I bet
your hair has turned white in parts.
You know I always wanted to follow your
tradition, Surat Shabd, but I have fallen in with
the Siddhas - Gurumayi.
What is different but the objects of worship and
how are those objects of worship different. I have
read of simran, mental repetition of the mantra,
but wouldn't that just be natural.
I like chanting. I still believe in that though my
beliefs have been shaken from all angles. I
question reincarnation, I don't sit and meditate. I
listen to the singing of hymn and mantra quite
regularly. I think if I ever got off on the sitting
meditation it was from the energy of others.
Now I am feeling paranoid, looking out for the
enemies of mantra and meditation. Maybe I had
been weak with meditation but then maybe I
didn't have the organization or structure I needed.
It isn't offered in school and I wonder if it would
be the hot subject like multi-media presentation
was when I started at SFC in 1971.
So, I still repeat a mantra though, with beads in a
whisper. Om Namah Shivaya.
The Siddhas have a center on the north side. Very
neat and clean, very circumspect.
Ah, but I am at St. Francis House, unemployed
and deeply in debt.