Monday, April 21, 2014

A Comment on a Post at Facebook, 4/21/14

This is a comment I made at Facebook when a friend shared a link to "The 1% Wants to Ban Sleeping in Cars Because It Hurts Their 'Quality of Life' - Depriving homeless people of their last shelter in life is Silicon Valley at its worst.
Because It Hurts Their 'Quality of Life' - Depriving homeless people of their last shelter in life is Silicon Valley at its worst. - See more at:

Isn't that a bitch? I think they are jealousy of the homeless living so close to the earth, outside every day while they are cooped up in their condos and 3 br ranch houses. It is one great joy I had when I became homeless. When I had an apartment and before that a home, I never got out. I was in looking at satellite TV, overspending because really I was afraid of out there. At one time I had a phobia about public places. I think it contributed to my receiving SSI for a year. Silly me, I thought I was depriving others of the good taxpayers' money and I didn't make the effort to renew. Relationship to going homeless - loneliness. Yes, my beloved Gurumayi says never to use that word but I must. Maybe solitude is a good word. Alone with my mother and father for decades. When both were dead I had no idea what to do. A black sheep in the family, I guess, nobody there would help. Not sure they even knew what that meant. I didn't know so many things. Was I a black sheep just because of yoga, the Guru? I was wild about it, but for years nobody was there to even talk about that with me. Now I am homeless, living in a friend's apartment's living room and learning all about being hungry and needy. My car insurance went unpaid, my drivers license was suspended. I had taken measures to try to learn about my finances but there was much too little help and all very GOP, if you know what I mean. No common shit. For years, I had money and nobody wanted a part of me. It was hard to find that money. It came from my Momma and it wasn't easy to get it from her. I was a client at a mental health clinic but what happened there? I was put on Stelazine, an anti-psychotic. They thought I had schizophrenia? It was two college interns who did it when Kennedy was protesting Valium. I wanted to be in with the in crowd so I rejected Valium and ended up with some real shit of a drug that just made me sleep all the time. I already lived in a sleepy town and sleepy world. No hanging out, no weed, no naked women. LOL. Those were the days.
Because It Hurts Their 'Quality of Life' - Depriving homeless people of their last shelter in life is Silicon Valley at its worst. - See more at:

Friday, March 21, 2014

Awful Dream

I shouldn't share this with you but I had an awful dream that my mother and brother were in. I made mom very sad. I guess that speaks to my feeling I had deserted her at the end when I did not bring her home after we hospitalized her for a stroke. I should say I hospitalized her because there was nobody else giving help. It was over 7 years ago now.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

One Stupid Motherfucker

Because it is my religion that God is in all of you and so all of you are Jesus, I am counted as one stupid motherfucker. All I can say to that is at least I can pass the fucking TABE.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Beyond Form

So who is the Guru. You think you have found her or him but the Guru is beyond form. The Guru is not just some center or ashram or yogic discipline. Remember the Guru is Christ. The Guru is All. The Guru is I AM. You limit You and the Guru this way. You contract the God.

Friday, January 10, 2014

From my Journal in PSY 360 A02 at Argosy University

I guess you wonder why I keep making entries since you have said you never read these.
Oh, well, who knows?
I remember a great controversy over relevancy in the schools. I find the east very
relevant. It is hard for me to see psychology and the spiritual path uniting. Maybe it has
to do with my own social circles, what's become of them. Boy, they have devolved and
evolved over the years. I had no career so that must have affected it. So, why no career?
Yeah, good question and one I will leave the sociologists to answer. Maybe karma though
speaks to it, I dunno. Is it having something to do with popularity or something. I am going
to copy this post to my blog, it's so clear.
J. Krishnamurti had criticisms for people he said, "analyze."  I can't find the quote now but
it was in "The Awakening of Intelligence." Perhaps the setting of the instructions and concepts
offered here in Argosy are my problem, less than the concepts themselves. Maybe it is because
the concepts are created for younger folks with less life experience or a different life experience,
full of science and logic classes. So often our teachers are quite like ourselves. When I went to
school in the 70s all teachers were like me, western, popular music, even long hair and pot
smoking. So, we related to the teacher and understood what the teacher had to offer. Now, the
teaching seems to have been predesigned here at Argosy and the teacher is just a facilitator. I
failed at the university level. I got on academic suspension and I understood that all schools would
reject me. I had a chance at Naropa Institute but my parents were only working class and I had no
in state status and so I could not imagine going there when I visited in 1975. Our society is so sure it
is on the right path by being exclusive and of high standards. It changed my life not being able to
go to school, see peers and thinkers on the same level.. I did resent the large school, a state
university because, exactly, there was no eastern view offered. Allen Ginnsberg visited and read
poems and Ram Dass visited, but a real study of eastern philosophy is a void at the University of
Florida and I figure all the other Florida universities. It takes some real focus to get next to some of
these assignments. It is almost like fixing one's computer. It takes quite a bit of analysis.