Wednesday, May 7, 2008

I'm very angry.

I'm very angry.

I don't have a job but I own a house.

I don't have any more money either.

I have diabetes and high blood pressure and high cholesterol that makes me pay for prescription that run, I guess about $140 a month. Just because I get some at Wal-Mart that give me generics for $4 a bottle. I get 3 generics.

But one for my cholesterol costs $120 a month I think. It's called Niaspan and it's recommended by a little group with Public Citizen called has created a list of pills that although OK with the FDA they believe are still dangerous for you to take.

When I mention to a doctor or a Health Clinic I get mocked and made fun of but they do give in. Unfortunately it looks like the Niaspan is not doing such a great job of controlling my cholesterol.

My diabetes had gotten so bad that someone asked me if I had wanted to take insulin. You know, give myself a little shot in the stomach. I got this in the hospital once and it isn't pleasant in any way. I have seen talk that some people prefer this way to control their blood sugar levels. It's not for me.

I got lucky. Maybe it was the angry way in which I took talk of insulin but I stopped my big eating and got back to the diabetic diet that requires you to eat just a little every couple of hours and check you blood sugars with a glucometer. It means sticking your finger with a little pen but it doesn't hurt terribly.

I started losing weight as soon as I skipped a couple of meals that day. I took a long drive and didn't eat. Eventually I changed my gym which was a real big one in Gainesville, FL. I went to a smaller one and they gave me a class that even further reduced my weight. So things are looking good in the health land but I still have no job.

I have been thinking of getting a home equity loan and looking into it seems like people get these loans for a variety of reasons. I thought I would fix up my home to where I could get a good price for it but I'm afraid because of the market for homes. I understand they aren't selling and I see a lot of homes right by me that aren't selling.

I am warned that I could lose my home if perhaps I never got a job and I never sold the house and they foreclosed. I guess that's the term for it.

So, I'm just worried, worried, worried all day long and now I'm even more worried that they are actually going to nominate Barack Obama to be the next POTUS.

I don't know. I watched a video last night by my Guru Gurumayi called TRUST. Trust is transcendent she said. I don't know. I don't know who to trust right now.

I can't even get up in the daytime. I spend all my time up at nights. And it's not like I live in Las Vegas, everything here closes at night. Drug stores, some supermarkets (actually just one) are open all night.

Just felt like venting a little bit because I was feeling so hateful. It seems like the black members of the Democratic Party are going to give us Barack Obama come hell or high water and I was feeling a little angry at them.

I went to a desegregated high school and a nice black family moved in some years ago to this neighborhood which had never had a minority family, except once a Korean family, live here. They came to my mother's wake and have been very kind.

But boy, Donna Brazile can put me over the edge. Doesn't that woman give a damn about her health? Look at how fat she has gotten!!! She's gotta have diabetes or something. That happened to me. I got immense and when I went to a doctor to see about weight loss they found I had developed diabetesII.

Remember Ted Kennedy how immense he was? People made fun. That's Miss Brazile. Why the hell do they want her up there? Have they loss their sense of the cosmetic all of a sudden? They had better get rid of all that technoglitter if they have.

And boy is she black? Does she use make up to darken a little? I mean do they have make up that does that? Because you talk about being BLACK!!!

That was part of my anger tonight. I remembered how a lot of black kids didn't like white kids, even hippie whites. Very militant! Very BLACK! The words were synonomous.

Well, I thought I would just put that out there since it's an open thread.

There was that little bit about sex and Hillary Clinton that the guy from Countdown, Wolf, had written about. All I can say is she's not unattractive and Chelsea certainly looks good.

Isn't it chauvinistic to see women in that way?

And if you want to talk about a politician in bed I bet a lot of nasty thing could be said about Rap Sister Michelle Obama and the Bro.

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