Weird

What a weird day. Was it only a day. Was it just this day? I feel like I've been so up and down. I just don't have any real solid thing to hold onto. I need money and I reach out to people to help me with that. I imagine success in this way and failure. Failure brings me down and success makes me happy but nothing is happening. That makes me sad and confuses me. What are we, I wonder, machines. I can't tell if I'm being told the truth or being lied to. I can't believe no one is able to help and beyond those souls that I have loved probably lifetime after lifetime but those whom I don't call my dearest who only value things like goodness and charity, love and playing fair.

I'm just so confused.