Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I'm reading Lesson 29 of my Living in the Truth of the Present Moment. It's so right on in the moment. A disagreement between two sister years ago and now they are set to meet each other again. The sister finds that she is thinking exactly the things that create the stress in ther relationship.

I have a situation like that. It's a fightin' situation. You don't want to give up a point. In fact you don't even think the relationship is important enough to save from disappearing. Isn't that something?

I get tired of my family thumbing their noses at India, the Gurus, the Avatars, the Swamis. Sick and Tired. They don't give an inch either. They aren't what they used to be and neither am I which I am not happy with. I don't have long hair, don't smoke pot, don't hang out with naked ladies. There's no beer, no school and no job. Of course all I can see is what they are not. Fat bellies, short hair, scars down the middle of their chests. Tiresome and Old. Listening to MUZAK. I mean not talk Stephan Halpern which is MUZAK to them. Common cars, common houses. Kids who keep their distances very distant. Denials of receiving Baba gifts. Nobody likes me and obviously nobody likes them either, they are dull and uninteresting. Masons, retired persons, hen pecked old men and living in assisted living apartments. Grief and hatred of the president, and no money, no money at all, money they earned. Money that is theirs and they are going to keep it.

Well, I face financial ruin. They've explained delightfully though 35 years ago waht a great blessing bankruptcy is. Thing is those were working people who could get back to earning more money. I am unemployed. Nobody every went very far about bankruptcy except to say they liked it. They are not interested enough in my thing to say anymore about it. They don't care about me. They just don't God Damned love me. So I will think of someone else.

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