Thursday, December 6, 2012


What would it be like to be owned? Think about it. Your family has demands of you, your job. What if there were no pay for all that you give? What if you got nothing back but the expectations were the same?

People can do that to you. They can become your masters. They just draft you into their sphere and expect you to do things they want you to do whether you want to do them or not. I am in a situation like that now.

Maybe you have had relationships in your life that ended and the other didn't want them to end. It's something like that. You don't care for the persons opinions, you have mentioned he is wrong about several things yet still he thinks he is your best friend. What would you do without him. Gee, even my father was like that. He used to wonder what my mother would do without him. Now that I am in a situation like that I do sympathize. My father was an ignorant man. The most important thing in the world to him was money. It wasn't like he was a rich man. No, he was poor and nobody could say any different. Oh, but quite bitter that he did not, could not have more. That I lived in his house, that he had to support me was insufferable to him.

My father used to be upset about my appearance, the long hair and the ragged clothes, but since I knew him he had always had these long dirty filthy nails. They are like the devil's. I see them on this one who thinks I owe him my every weekend. Well, what am I going to do if I don't take him to Tampa to sell cold water and sodas (not to mention beer), he asks me? You gonna need my gas money. He pays enough to get rides around town is how I look at it. Enough for the gas. I don't know what price his company should cost. He is a born again Christian and black. He thinks Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims, Jews and the rest are going to Hell. No doubt any other denomination but his own is going there too. Yet, being so Christian he lights up a blunt pretty regularly and he likes his cigarettes. He also quite a foul mouth but he is black and he's proud. He knows the world calls him and all Afro-Americans nigger and so he calls himself and his "brothers" exactly that. It is not so pleasant for me to hear him speak nor is it pleasant to hear the brothers speak with him. And what kind of pay have I gotten for enduring his presence since May this year? Well, I've never made $100 on a weekend as he promised for the football season. I have made much less. Sometimes nothing for whole weekends. The only pay seems to be getting to know him. What kind of bread is that, I wonder?

I am fortunate some money from a student loan has come in. Now, if I could just get and hold a job.

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